69: How Motherhood Made Her More Creative | Women and Work

She spent years believing that becoming a mother could end the career she had worked so hard to build. In the music industry, she had already overcome sexual harassment, self-doubt, and the pressure to prove she belonged. But one honest conversation with another songwriter changed everything.

In this episode of Women and Work, Tiff Randol—composer, producer, vocal artist, and co-founder of Mamas in Music—shares how motherhood transformed not only her career, but also her creativity, priorities, and purpose. She opens up about discovering she was neurodivergent later in life, building a nonprofit while raising a child, and creating the support system she wished had existed for mothers in the music industry.

In this episode:
• Why she once believed motherhood would end her career 
• Navigating sexual harassment in the music industry 
• Discovering she was neurodivergent as an adult 
• Starting a nonprofit for mothers in music 
• Balancing creativity, parenting, and entrepreneurship 
• Why community matters for working mothers

Has becoming a parent—or another major life change—ever made you better at your work?

Learn more about the Mamas in Music nonprofit at https://www.mamasinmusic.org and check out Tiff’s music at https://www.tiffrandol.com/ or www.iamevemusic.com.

Struggling to find the right child care? Get a video interview of your ideal nanny at https://www.momsub.com/child-care-options

#WomenAndWork #WorkingMoms #Motherhood #WomenInBusiness #MusicIndustry

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I lost that opportunity for myself. It's too late for me. And you know, she's like, it's my biggest regret in life that I that I lost that moment for myself. And I did it not for me, but because I thought it was what I had to do to fit in in the industry. And that really like broke something open in me. And um, and I really appreciated her honesty in that and thought, okay, like this is what do I want for myself? Do I want this, you know, where am I being dishonest with myself? Is this because I've been brainwashed and you know, or is you know, is it really true that I'm that I don't want that for myself? And when I when I got honest, I I did. I just didn't know how to do it. I didn't know if I could do it. Uh I didn't know what that was gonna look like, and I didn't know if it would end my career or not. And uh, and you know, I at a certain point I said, okay, let's just do this and see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Welcome to Women and Work, the show where we take an inside look at how women are overcoming our own unique challenges as we grow our careers or build a business while nurturing relationships and family. I'm Diane Mocha, founder and CEO of MomSub, the app that connects you to a substitute mom. And I want you to know that work can fit your life. Each week we meet a woman who has done that. And today I'm with Tiff Randall. She is the co-founder of Mamas in Music, a nonprofit supporting mothers in the music industry. And she herself is a composer, music producer, and vocal artist. Her work has been in soundtracks for film, TV, and games, and she wrote the song for the closing credits of Percy Jackson, see of monsters. She also identifies as a neurodiverse creator and mother, and she actively works to help other women find the kind of support system she has developed. Because we all need a village, right, Tiff? Oh, yeah, we do. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. You know, we know that the music industry can be kind of tough on women, right? There's a lot of women in it, but it can sort of eat them up and spit them out. And sometimes, you know, the industry will benefit from their talent, but not really support them holistically. And so it sounds like you've really overcome a lot of challenges in your life to achieve success in your career. And so I want to start out by asking what you think has been the biggest challenge that you faced, especially in your career, specifically because you are a woman.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Sexual harassment. Um yeah, no, really. Um yeah, that's that's been the biggest challenge, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Um in the music industry. So, you know, w what we hear you know about the Me Too movement and that, you know, things aren't like that anymore. You know, maybe they're not the way they used to be, but it's still pervasive.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

It is, yeah, for sure. It I mean, absolutely, there's a lot of change happening and people are much more aware and it's not happening as often, but it's still happening. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

How did it affect you? You know, what what happened that you know made you wake up and go, oh my gosh, I think I'm, you know, being manipulated, victimized, whatever here.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

I mean, it happened in so many layers. That I think that um, especially at the time when I was uh coming into the industry, I didn't I didn't expect anything different. It's you know, it's it's often it's a lot of how how I also experienced life prior to being in the music industry as well. Um, and so um I think I just looked at surviving it best as I could. Um I expected it to some degree, um, was disappointed when it happened, you know, many times and you know, um just dealt with it continuously. Um, but I think um that it was after you know I got married and after um certainly after I had my kiddo that um my I felt a different level of safety. I didn't feel um you know as much of that in in the space, you know, it's like something shifted in me and something shifted in you know who I who I am in you know the world as well. And um, and um I think it gave me a lot of different boundaries and perspective and the safety. Like I really think after I got married and had my kiddos, like when I felt the safest in the industry in a strange way.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Did it affect your career trajectory in any way that you thought you were gonna work with this person or this company and you were like, that environment is not a safe place for me, and so I'm not gonna go in that direction, even if that means bigger opportunities, and you know, music on a big label, or you know, what kinds of doors do you think were shut to you because you put up your boundaries? Many, many.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Um yeah, it's funny. I was not anticipating sharing about this, so I'm I'm a little at a loss for words. And it's it's um, you know, it's something that I think like most women in in the industry have dealt with. Um, certainly I have. Um, I think there's there's always that that uh situation where uh you are going into a as a female. Many times I went into situations where I was going there for you know music career things and the, you know, oftentimes it was mostly men that I was dealing with and you know, their and their interests were different. And you know, when those two interests did not coincide, um, then oftentimes it was not pleasant. So um, you know, I'm I'm speaking loosely and lightly about it because I'm not even prepared to share about some of those experiences. But, you know, it's um you know, it's it's a it's a common, it's a common story. I had a wonderful um uh mama music artist, um uh Maya um oh what's her last name? Um Savini. Uh anyway, she she wrote a wonderful editorial for uh Mamas and Music um on our Substack about her experience in this area as well. And um she was so vulnerable and open about it, um, which was really inspiring. Um so it's a lot of women deal with it. Um, and uh, you know, and and that that's really tough when you look at and you're like, oh, um, you know, I to see other people and male peers not dealing with the same kind of situations, you know, as they continue to have their um career uh collaborations and opportunities and things like that. So um, yeah, that's that's not fun. That's that's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Um, that could be very frustrating to know that, you know, because of my gender alone, I'm dealing with this issue, it's causing a block of where I want to go. So, what kept you going? You know, why not just say, I could sing, I don't have to be in the industry, you know. Um, why was it important to you to pursue this and to keep going? And, you know, it takes a lot to to get to the point where you're getting the kind of commercial success that you have. Either some incredible luck or a lot of grit and determination.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Yeah, I would say a lot of grit and determination is probably more of it. Um, but um I think, you know, I I just love music. I love for me stories and role play and um, you know, creating and self-expression have always been the way that I created safe spaces for my own um my own emotions and my own experience in the world, especially, you know, growing up. I didn't know that I was neurodivergent growing up, but I often experienced, you know, feeling slightly outside of you know, my experiences just different than a lot of other people. So um my safe space was always that creativity and that creative expression and music. Um, and it's always been my passion. Um, so I I couldn't really do anything else, I think, um, just from my my spirit. Um and you know, we just we just kind of I just keep going.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

I just keep going. Yeah. Was it always your goal, even from when you were young, that this is what I'm gonna do for my career? You know, I love music. And because some people, you know, say, I don't want to ruin, you know, the passion that I have for this particular area, you know, by having them monetize it and make it into a career. But or was it like this is the way to express it, you know, to not just keep myself in a room and and write some music that maybe I share on SoundCloud now and then, but to actually like pursue this and and and do this and and how? Like, how did you know? Did you have parents who introduced you to the right people? And, you know, did you go to college for it? You know, this doesn't just sort of appear in front of you. It has to, it has to happen in the family.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

I mean, I grew up always, um, I was always very creative. I did not grow up in a musical family. I mean, I grew up in upstate New York and um, you know, in the in the country. So um it was really, I was always into moving my body and role play and dancing, theater, uh, musical theater, um, music, painting. Like I was, I was always very, very creative, writing stories, all of it. Um, and so my parents were really encouraging uh to me of this when I was young. There's like a, you know, always like a funny, like cute story that we talk about, which was that when I was um, when I was like three and four, I was up every night in the middle of the night, um, dancing like naked around my room and painting and you know, chopping my hair off and blasting records. And my parents were really concerned. So they took me to a child therapist who was like, she's just an artist and a free spirit. Let her like put plastic on the walls, wear earplugs, and let her do her thing. And um, and so, you know, I think this kind of created this pathway for even though my parents may not have been in the thick of music and industry, um, they wanted me to uh be self-expressed and they wanted to encourage that as much as possible. So, you know, they were always, my mom was always there, like supporting me, doing, you know, theater and whatever else I was doing. And and uh and yeah, I went to NYU when I was like 17 and uh for music for classical voice and audio engineering. Um, and then you know, I just I started, I I became uh immersed in the New York music scene and um, you know, really like my friends and peers uh grew me and uh taught me and um and I and and it was really yeah, it was really amazing to to uh come into that. And no, I didn't always know that I was gonna do music. Um I also thought I thought I would do theater um, you know, and uh and painting. Um so, but music at the end of the day was the thing that kind of held all of it together for me. Um, and I can bring like visuals and story and theater on the stage and lyrics and self-expression in this way that um feels uh very true and like so I can continue peeling the layers off of you know myself really as I evolve through life.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Nice. And so when did you realize that you were neurodivergent and why is that important for you to declare in your bio? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Um it's it's it was something that I uh discovered two years ago. Uh and so it's fresh for me um and fascinating for me, and I and and makes a lot of my life make sense. Um and you know, it was something that uh another mama music shared with me and said, Hey, I think that that you might want to look into this for you, which was really amazing. So, you know, this uh community um, you know, brought me uh to a little closer to myself in this way as well, to understand how my brain works and why I've um, you know, uh explored music and roles and archetypes and you know, all of the different things and and why I've also experienced life a little differently with all of like my sensitivities and sensory stimulation and all of these things. So I I like to um talk about it openly because there's a lot of stigmas around it. And I at when when it was first brought up to me, um I thought there's I'm no. Um, I think I know what that looks like and it's not me. And then when I really, you know, started to um explore it and sit in with it, it was like, I mean, I just was uh a waterfall, I guess, for a long time because I felt I felt like I wish I would have known all along what could my life have been like had I have known and had these um tools to recognize why I got choked up in situations with um you know sexual harassment or sexual assault and you know why I um struggled in certain ways um that now I can I can have uh tools for and recognize.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

So did you get a formal diagnosis? Was that important? And was it difficult because you were an adult? You were a woman, right? You don't fit the mold of what people think of uh, you know, as someone on the spectrum.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Yeah, um, and you know, it's also because um, you know, I'm I'm the mother of uh, you know, of a child um who's also on the spectrum end. Um and so, you know, I I really I love patterns and I love understanding um why this is also just part of what's fun about I guess my you know understanding my brain is to know, oh, this is why I'm always looking for patterns and things. This is why um, you know, I like I have to know why things are and I and I'm always looking at systems and going, you know, how how where's the patterns that you know where there's there's things that are broken and you know, scanning them to try and figure out how to fix them and everything from you know my personal life to you know community and you know the industry looking at gaps and things and you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Wow, yeah. Seeing yourself through a new lens that like it gives you clarity and you know, and and seeing yourself as a mother, even in a new way, like you said, you so you have a child that you recognize, you know, and got them diagnosed. And being a mother, of course, in every mother's life is a a big part of their life, but you really took that next step of creating a nonprofit or you know, around mothers in music. So is motherhood something that you always knew from when you were young you you wanted, or is it something that you were like, well, if it happens, it happens, if not, you know, and and how did that evolve in your life where that became something important you wanted to do, and then something that you even brought together with your music and created this whole separate um entity?

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Well, I love that you asked that. Um I mean, I I certainly love to play um a mummy with my animals and you know, and everything growing up, but um I think that I so in my 20s, I was really like, you know, anti-motherhood, and I was like, I will never be a mother, like and I and a lot of that, um, a lot of that was just kind of like toxic energy from the industry where I was like, where I didn't want um, you know, I didn't want people to think that I wasn't serious about my career. Um, and yeah, yeah, and uh, and when I became a mother, and and finally when I was like, I I had a songwriter partner of mine um who said to me one day, she was like, Don't don't miss that opportunity if it's something, you know, she's like, I think you want that, you know, and she's like, I can tell that you want that. Um, she's like, I I lost that opportunity for myself. It's too late for me. And, you know, she's like, it's my biggest regret in life that I that I lost that moment for myself. And I did it not for me, but because I thought it was what I had to do to fit in in the industry. And it really like broke something open in me. And um and I really appreciated her honesty in that and thought, okay, this is what do I want for myself? Do I want this, you know, where am I being dishonest with myself? Is this because I've been brainwashed and you know, or is you know, is it really true that I'm that I don't want that for myself? And when I when I got honest, I I did. I just didn't know how to do it. I didn't know if I could do it. Uh, I didn't know what that was gonna look like, and I didn't know if it would end my career or not. And uh, and you know, I at a certain point I said, okay, let's just do this and see what happens. Um, and you know, there were there were hitches in the career, uh, you know, along along the way, but um truly it's been uh the greatest shift in my um creativity, uh, my creative output, uh, the work that I'm doing, the work that I'm doing in the community. Um you know, it's it's really made me more present to um being a much bigger and better version of myself before um motherhood in all the ways. Um so yeah, I I I look back at that and I thought when I started Mama's a music, um you know, that was one of the things where I was like, you know, I don't want other women to feel the way that that my um songwriting partner does. And I don't want other women that are young women to feel the way I did. Um, you know it should always be coming from a place of what's right for, you know, for for somebody and not a pressure from some outside source.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Wow, that's so powerful that you had these honest conversations. You know, you shared a few that you've had with some different people and that you wanted to create that support system that you had been finding, you know, for others. So how old are your kids? Are you married to their dad? You know, is that part of the picture? And, you know, um, you said there were some hitches along the way. You know, I think some of the challenges that you could share and how you overcame them, a balancing this career, this very demanding career, and then being a mom might help some others to be prepared or to to know what to do when they're not sure how to get past a little bump in the road or big bump in the road.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Yeah. Um for me, it was it was my yes, I am married. Um, I and I have an eight-year-old. Um and when I had Luca, it was it was tricky. My husband was um traveling for work during the birth, and that was really challenging for me personally. Um is he in the industry? He's he's in the film industry, yeah. Oh so um, yeah, so he was uh he was on a project. Um and uh and and then I had also my management team stepped away about six weeks after as well. And so I had been building up a project that I was getting ready to release. Um and you know, after I had Luca, I was like, it was this combination of leading up to Luca, I was like, um, um I sorry, I realize I'm saying his name, but and and I don't know that I that I should, but I um sorry. Uh I um I leading up to him, I was getting ready to release um all of this music, and I was like on the way to the hospital, and I was I was calling um somebody and I was saying, we need to get the video over to the edit because I'm going to the you know hospital right now, and I'm this was just ridiculous because the minute I had him, I um my head was blasted sideways, and I couldn't care less for quite some time about anything other than this absolutely life altering um experience of you know feeling turned inside out and being with this like amazing human. Um and um Yeah, it's very funny what what I thought before and where my head was before and then um you know, I think it's it it reminded me of a um when you have like a death near death experience. And you know, it's just this wild opportunity for um transformation. Um so uh during that time though, I did have like overwhelming joy and overwhelming postpartum and you know, all of these things going on all at once. Um and so trying to um figure out my creativity and my balance and my time. And you know, we travel a lot for my husband's work. So um, you know, Luca was on um three different continents before the age of five, you know, like we lived in three different uh continents. Um and and you know, I was making albums while doing that and uh you know jumpstarting mamas and music as well. So it's just a a lot of um a lot of uh wild, wild stuff and challenges during the pandemic and um I think the the hardest thing for me was trying to find my time balance and get back um creatively. And um one of the interesting things that opened up for me, because I think more opened up for me than uh than any than not like it might have been a challenge for me emotionally and time, and I was exhausted and feeling very isolated. Um, I think isolation is something that can be really hard for a lot of uh mothers. Um, and you know, especially like when I'm traveling all over and not with, you know, a um community uh regularly. Um, but that's part of why we created Mama's Music was to have this kind of global thread and and and network. So that community piece and and building that was um an amazing gift. Um it was also an amazing gift to like to to prioritize differently, you know, when you have um when you have a child and your um your your time changes. So all of a sudden I was really, really specific about, you know, the kind of things I wanted to put my time and attention into. And I feel like that's made me more honest in my work.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Um so it sounds like before he came along, you know, when you're pregnant and you haven't had your first child yet, you know, you imagine what it's gonna be like, but you can't ever really know. And you had been probably your whole life juggling lots of projects, you know, good at multitasking. And so this was like another project, you know. And then after a child's born, you realize that your North Star in life, at least for, you know, a lot of mothers, like changes. It's like, oh, you know, I this isn't just another project. Like the map is different, you know? The whole map is different. And and so I wonder as you continue to travel and then pursue your pro your projects, because you realize, okay, I can balance these things, but it's gonna be a little different or more challenging than I thought. Did he come with you if you had to do projects? You know, how did that evolve? You know, did you have to have child care? Did you have to go away for a week and and you know, leave him with his dad or with somebody else? And how easy or hard was that to have other people caring for him? And how young was he when you had to be away?

SPEAKER_01 25:48

I have been away from my eight-year-old for five days.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

Oh so you're like, I'm he is now part of my life where I'm gonna, I can do what I'm gonna do and I can have him with me.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Yeah, I mean, he um we are definitely like very, you know, attached. Like, you know, I think um, especially kids who are neurodivergent, oftentimes they just require a lot more co-regulation. Um, and you know, so uh he's I mean, he's got um we have we have usually my husband's on projects and he's just not really available. Um, so you know, when we've traveled with him, a lot of times I've traveled by myself. Like we spent two weeks quarantined in a hotel in Australia when he was two and a half, just like me and him during the pandemic, you know. And um I've I've I've put a lot of times things on hold, um, you know, to be there for him. And and that, um, you know, that's just been a part of it. Uh just depends. Um, and I've found ways to um make sure that I'm building more time in. And a lot of it is um, you know, again, a lot of it is again choosing how I'm spending my time, what I'm spending my time on. Um, I do think I've been pretty, I think I've put out at least three albums since he's been born and started a global nonprofit. So I I think I think we've still been pretty productive. Um, but I've had to find uh, you know, wise ways to work. Um and um, you know, sometimes he's there with me. And sometimes, you know, I've sometimes I gotta like squeeze it in and you know, in weird times. And um the last two years, um, because like this, you know, this year my husband was on a project for seven months and the year before for nine months. So we um so I got an O pair for the first time two years ago, um, you know, and just realized like that that was um, you know, for for me the way that I could find some balance um after, you know, the first six years. So um yeah, I I um I think there's other ways that I've been, you know, finding collaborating with people, you know, collaborating with people is a big one. Um we talk a lot at mama's music about um and lately even more about like buddy systems. How do we, you know, that that when we we want to be working, um, you know, whatever's coming up for us, that having somebody else to work with can really be the thing that makes the difference. Um, and then I think also uh, you know, one of the fun things that happened creatively for me that was completely different was that I got in touch with my love of um instrumental music. Um, and that was partially because I mean, a lot of times when um creative uh writing mothers have uh children, they talk about that they're they get kind of creative blocks. Um, and for me, I did really stumble a bit with lyrics. Um, I wrote this one song for him about the birth experience called Holy Now. Um and you know, that was pretty much the one uh lyrical song that just felt so natural to come out of me during, you know, the first years. Um, but I I was so full of a need to express creatively all these crazy emotions and things that I was feeling that it propelled me into instrumental work and just I put lyrics aside and I started kind of more painting with um instrumentation and you know, and and colors and music and thinking about music a little differently. It freed something up in me that also pushed forward my um production in a way that I had been really, really wanting, you know, it to move into. So um it's interesting. You never know how things are going to open you up and um you know, and for me, I would say it's opened me up in so many ways. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

So the success that you've achieved, you know, so many people yearn for in the music business, you know, they'll create for years, maybe even, you know, indefinitely without necessarily getting paid for it, right? You know, because anytime you create, you unless you're hired for a project, you don't know, you know, what's gonna come out of it. So you said you, you know, decided to get an au pair. And, you know, so many moms I think go through this guilt of, especially when they're not doing a set job, like, okay, I have these hours, I'm gonna go to work, I'm gonna get paid, and then and that justifies me paying for childcare. But like you're pursuing a passion, you have a um, you know, a business, you're developing a side hustle and you need the time to work on it, but you don't necessarily always know what what the financial return is gonna be. So how difficult was that for you to navigate and say, I'm gonna, you know, I'm going to pay some money, and so and I'll pair as a different way of sort of financially arranging the payment for care, but it costs, you know, how easy was it to kind of make that decision and do that process and find the right person? Did you have to go through a few? And how easy was it emotionally to say, I'm going to spend this money and this time to find this because I I need this for me, you know, either emotionally or because I know that my project is going to be successful and there will be financial resources coming back to my family. How did you navigate all of that?

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yeah, I mean, I think I navigated it, you know, partially because my husband got a job that took him away from nine months. And, you know, for for me in part, I was like, you know, I I I can't be, I also homeschool my my kid.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Wow. So you need a break. So, you know, everyone needs a break. And so you recognize that, yeah. Yeah. You had to break.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

I just is basically like, I'm, you know, I'm um be you know, my he he really um, you know, need he needs uh like a lot of attentiveness and um and so for me when that job came nine months away, I just said, okay, uh, you know, I'm I was nervous about having somebody live in our home and be in our space and how to, you know, it's it's it's very um uh nerve-wracking to uh to try something like that. Uh and there are challenges about it, and there are great things about it. Um, but I think one of the big pillars for me was also that I just really wanted to have um someone else besides me who was also a consistent pillar in their day-to-day life. I felt like that was important for him and his growth. Um, and I mentally needed it for sure, um, so that I could um, you know, really focus on, you know, my my things as well.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

So wow.

unknown 33:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Well, I think you know, and I'm sure in the in retrospect, you feel it was a good choice, you know. I think Yeah, I do, I do, I do.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Um, you know, I I think it's been really good for him. Um you still have someone who is an up there in your life? Yeah. How long has you have you had the same person? Um, so we had this is our second time. So last year we had um somebody with us for a year and she just came to visit, you know. So um, and then we uh we have our second person who's um finishing up the summer. And um yeah, it's been really, it's been great to have the stability. And and for me too, I mean, I I think I'm also one of these people who um in a perfect world um would be very happy in some type of commune eco-village, you know, like I I would be very, I like to have, I like to have my own privacy, my own space. And I also really like to have people around that feel like they're part of the village and um community is really important to me. Um, so it's it's been nice to have that for me too, uh, especially um when it's just me and me and Luca.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

And it sounds like the desire to create the nonprofit was almost an extension of that. You know, I'm you put in effort to create a community for yourself and others. But it's said that you did this in 2019. And if he's eight, that means he was a toddler when you did this.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

I we started creating it in you know, during the newborn phase.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Oh my gosh. You know, I mean that's a lot. You're you're still trying to do your music, you're getting used to being a mom. You know, why why then? I mean, you could have had the idea and sort of, you know, put it aside until you had the the time and the energy. And, you know, was it and and was it like, oh my gosh, after you started, did you realize, you know, now I'm I'm I'm getting burned out, or maybe I shouldn't have done this? Like, how did you integrate that? Why was it important? Did you build it up to where you could at least get paid for some of the effort or you you put in, or was it all volunteer? You know, how did you make that work in your life?

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Um I'm I don't know, I'm loopy. Um really, I was in mom groups and I and I just, but I really wanted to connect with others in music specifically because it's just such a particular transition in that in that industry. So um I just I don't know. When I I think when I see something that's missing, I'm like, let's do this. Um, and I had no idea um, you know, what um that meant um really in the I didn't quite realize um what that would, I was really interested in the community piece of it and the advocacy and the coming together of others. Um and you know, here we are. Um we are predominantly all volunteers um at the organization. Um, you know, this is one of the things that we're really uh working on and committed to this year is is um having a shift around that so that we're um, you know, able to fund some roles um in the organization. Um but yeah, we've it's really been like a big-hearted um, you know, love um and and you know, need to see um that that change and you know bring people together. So um I do I do I experience the burnout of the organ of that piece of it. I I do. Um, and you know, what's been really amazing is that um this year I've had some incredible people join the leadership team and board, and um, it's been really amazing for to feel those people also having my back as well. Uh, because it is a lot to hold. Um, you know, as as the organ as as we've grown and community has grown, you know, there's a lot of um, there's a lot of things that happen to to to keep it uh afloat. And and for sure, I didn't quite realize that, you know, what that would become when I started it. I really, really didn't. Um, you know, but I'm really proud of it. And so, you know, now um it's been really nice to have some of the board members and people coming in and saying, hey, like we want to hold space, you know, for you and for this as well here. And, you know, let's let's shift this into its next phase so that um, you know, that there's a thriving uh and you know, there's a lot of things that we want to do for um you know, for mothers in music and you know, caregivers in music, um, that uh, you know, that's important to just continue growing it um from from where it is. And that involves great leadership and it and and it requires you know funding and um you know the heart and the community is is at the essence of all of it. And then there's all of the other stuff that's you know that's around it as well, um, which is interesting. Um and it's it's a new it's a newer phase for me. I've always just been like passion and heart and people and you know, not always great at all of the other stuff.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

And the parallel you drew is interesting because you talked about how when your son came along, you didn't know Luca's your a son, right? Yeah, you didn't know like exact like you didn't really anticipate how it would change you. And you birth, you know, you birth a child. And when you have an organization that you start and you're a founder, you're birthing an organization. I mean, you're starting from nothing and then something's there, like, and now you're responsible for it. And it's the same kind of thing. And you were like, I didn't really anticipate like how it was gonna need me. So I see the parallels there between between these two. There maybe there's a song there. I don't know. Um And you also talked about how you know one of the things that you wished was that you knew about your neurodiversity, you know, sooner, because you've only discovered this in the last couple of years. And I we always ask our guests if you could go back to an earlier version of yourself, knowing then what you know now, what you would change. So I wonder if if that's the thing you would change. And how do you, you know, why? What do you what do you think that would have helped you that maybe you struggled with in in life and it didn't have to be that way?

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Yeah, that would be the thing. I figured that, yeah. That would be the thing. Um so many things. I I think I think one of them would just be communication. Um it's a tricky question. I think there's many things about that that would have would have helped me. I mean, I think one of the things is tools, honestly, like um, you know, recognizing um, you know, where I have my skill sets and my strengths and where I have my challenges, and you know, finding ways to support those things instead of just feeling like, oh, why can why is this thing that seems basic to somebody else a challenge for me? And instead of you know, beating myself up for that um and constantly trying to fix it, um, you know, just knowing that's okay. I I my superpowers are over here. Um, so I think that would um be a big piece of it. And I also think um, you know, really uh understanding that that the way I feel the world around me, the environments, um, you know, lights and sounds and smells and touch and all of these things that were always so um often overwhelming or extraordinary to me, um, that oftentimes felt um maybe invalidated along the way or um kind of snuffed down, um, you know, having those validated, having that trust in myself, knowing early on, no, that's real for me. Uh, you know, I do see those colors when I see music. I do, uh, you know, when I smell um things, you know, perfume and you know, like lay down on a mattress and I need a certain pillow because I feel a texture of something on my skin. And all of these things, um, you know, I certainly was told many times by people around me that, you know, I'm, you know, high maintenance or something like that, you know, and this I think um is also not uncommon uh uh for you know somebody like myself who um was was told to really doubt my experience in the world. Um, and I think that that created a lack of trust in myself, uh, that it took a long time to get back to. And I think my diagnosis gave that for me, going like, no, actually, that's real, and no one can take that from me. And and also that's awesome that I feel and sense all of these things. I've had to learn how to work with it over time. Um, you know, but part of that is recognizing it and going, okay, like I don't want to go into those certain spaces that that are triggering for me. So um, yeah, I think there's plenty more. I mean, there's even just like we talked about initially around um the uh unexpected topic of um sexual harassment in this in the space, you know, like um knowing how to deal with those situations, uh, I think um that would have gave given me some different tools to um to know because I always felt slightly awkward in many social um experience experiences, um always uh I couldn't always figure out is somebody being real with me? Is this a joke? Is this, you know, um, and so uh a little bit of naivety in a way, I think that I always had and just not quite sure if somebody's um messing about. Uh so I think if I would have uh known that that is a piece of you know of of me in that way, that um would have given me some, I would have gotten some tools to to know that um to be prepared in some of those situations.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

That's beautiful that you that you shared that for yourself and for our listeners, right? And basically to me, the message is it's never too late, you know, because you can't go back in time, you can't change something, but you recognize, you know, what it would have done. Maybe somebody listening who is younger, you know, can can explore. And and you now have, you know, the knowledge and you can pursue the tools and you can, you know, you can change the next chapter, you know, with with this new information. And I thank you so much for all that you talked about today and and for telling us where you were comfortable and you weren't, you know. Of course, we only want you to talk about what's comfortable for you, but it really helps others, as I'm sure Mamas in Music does, right? To open up and let others know what you've experienced so they know that they're not alone if they're experiencing the same thing. So I'm sure this is going to be valuable for many people listening to this episode of Women in Work. If you were inspired by today's story, remember to share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe to meet our next amazing guest. If you or anyone you know is struggling to find the right childcare, just submit your criteria and then watch a video interview with the ideal nanny who fits your family at momsub.com. That's momsub like a substitute mom. Our mission is for you to get the help you need so you can discover what you want in life, pursue it with intensity, and fulfill your dreams, reducing your stress, your guilt, and your self-criticism, and increasing your calm, confidence, and clarity along the way. Remember, your career, your choices, and your success are yours to define. So keep pushing boundaries and spreading your love and encouragement to other women who need it.